Hi friends. I’ve missed you all and I will be honest that the last few weeks have been very trying for me to the point where I haven’t wanted to get on the computer at all.
Here in Orlando, we live less than two miles from where the attack at the Pulse nightclub took place just over three weeks ago. Between the events that weekend, the whole disheartening political scene and the more recent worldwide attacks I guess my writing and creative mojo has just been non-existent.
We do have to carry on and I am not usually one to let things bring me down for too long, but everything hit me really hard. I have had zero motivation in a borderline depression sort of way. I’ve grieved for the families of the victims – both here and worldwide – and I’ve worried for the future of my own children and for our great nation.
Each time I have sat down to try and write a post I have been overwhelmed with a sense that I really don’t have anything important to share. How can it matter after things like this happen? I wasn’t a blogger when the 9/11 attacks happened in NYC but I was easily able to recall having these same feelings.
A little over four years ago I had the opportunity with my job to sail on a brand new cruise ship that was being delivered from Germany. I was doing some video work on board and had been gone for four weeks when we finally sailed into port at Chelsea Piers in New York City.
I will never in my life forget everyone on board running out to the decks to see our beautiful Lady Liberty in the early morning hours. The crew was made up of hundreds and hundreds of people from all over the world, many of whom had never once set foot in the United States. The surge of complete emotions that morning as shown by everyone was incredible – many in tears, including myself. Happy to be home.
And so I am reminded that in the end that the emotions and depression I have felt these past few weeks is just what “they” want, right? Fear, hopelessness, guilt, self-doubt… mostly fear. “They” being the “bad guys”, naturally. And bad guys come in all sizes, shapes and colors and this is not a political rant by any stretch of my own (temporarily crippled) imagination.
I just needed to write. I needed to say out loud that I am still here. That we – my family and I – will not live in fear. We can be knocked down and we will get back up again, even if it takes a little time to recover emotionally from so many things happening all at once.
It’s what we do.
It’s also one of the many, many reasons I am so proud to be an American. We are fighters and, while there are certainly groups of people with whom I do not agree or who exhibit the worst that humanity has to offer, the majority of the people that I encounter here at home and worldwide are kind. They are helpers. They are generous. They are accepting. They open their homes and hearts to strangers.
This has never been more true than the display of kindness and love that has been portrayed here in Orlando right in my own back yard.
Anyway, I am getting back in the swing of things so thanks for bearing with me and for checking in. The summer may still prove to be a bit slower than usual as we spend time with our boys during their school vacation but I’ll be back at it soon enough.
In the meanwhile, happy 4th of July to you all. May God bless America and may freedom forever ring.
Claire is a wife and busy working Mom to three boys and A Little CLAIREification is a lifestyle blog committed to bringing readers “Bright Ideas On A Budget” – from recipes, crafts and DIY projects to time management tips, meal planning and inspiration.
A self proclaimed CHEESE addict and lover of Sharpie markers in every color known to man, Claire also likes to throw a little fun and laughter in the mix as well. I’d love for you to follow along!